


Seizing Life

by fannishliss



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-29
Updated: 2012-04-29
Packaged: 2017-11-26 15:24:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/651773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fannishliss/pseuds/fannishliss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>  Jack and the Doctor engage in secret psychic communication while under arrest in the holding cell.  They don't hold anything back!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Seizing Life

**title: Seizing Life**  
author: [](http://fannishliss.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://fannishliss.livejournal.com/)**fannishliss**  
rating: R, teen - mature  
pairing: Jack/Nine  
spoilers: my entry for dwpronathon for the episode "Bad Wolf"

summary:  Jack and the Doctor engage in secret psychic communication while under arrest in the holding cell.  They don't hold anything back!

 

 

The Doctor sat slumped on the bench next to Jack, hands folded between his knees.  His strong shoulders were bowed and his piercing blue gaze was shuttered with grief and self-recrimination.

Jack sat straight and tall, his body held relaxed and ready.  He wouldn't show any sign of weakness to their jailers, who were almost certainly monitoring their every move.  He'd been horrified by Rose's senseless murder, but he couldn't let himself think about that right now.  He had to be strong, for the Doctor, who had given him so much — not least, his self-respect after it had faded nearly to nothing — and Jack, in his heart, owed the Doctor his life.  He wouldn't fail him.

"God, my head," the Doctor groaned, rubbing at his temples.

Jack frowned at the Doctor's language.  He never made reference to a divinity, whatever he secretly believed or did not believe.

"Doctor?" Jack asked.

"Be a good lad, would you, Jack, and do that massage thingy you do, on my temples here?  My head is pounding!"   the Doctor moaned.  He turned toward Jack as much as he could on the narrow bench.  

Behind him, Lynda said, "I wouldn't mind..." but the Doctor interrupted her.  "No, that's quite all right, Jack has a gift for it."

Jack angled himself around and reached for the Doctor's temples.  The bright blue eyes locked with his, letting him know what was coming,  so Jack relaxed himself as much as he could and prepared to meet the Time Lord up close and personal.    Jack felt as if the Doctor's gaze were almost drilling into his mind, and as his fingertips touched the Doctor's temples, he felt the world around him shiver slightly as a new reality overlaid itself on the one he experienced every day.

"Is this all right?" the Doctor asked, mentally.

"Yes, of course," Jack quickly responded.

"Anything you don't want me to see, put behind a closed door," the Doctor warned.

"I've had this training, Doctor, don't worry," Jack reassured.  

Their conversation sounded clear as a bell inside Jack's head, and the Doctor's thoughts came into his awareness quick and sudden, like the splash of a raindrop.  Jack had some experience with telepathic conversations, and with the Doctor, there was none of the usual blurriness, the shouting, the trailing off, or the random digressions of so many people's cluttered thoughts.  

"There's something odd about Rose's death," the Doctor thought, cutting to the point.

For a moment, Jack was stunned.  Could the Doctor really be so dispassionate?

"No, Jack, lad — see here," the Doctor thought, impatiently.  

Jack saw, vividly and instantly, the pile of gritty whitish dust that had been left behind when the zapping beam hit Rose.  The Doctor had sunk down in shock, trailing his fingers through all that remained of his beloved companion.  Jack shuddered at the memory of it, but then he felt what the Doctor was trying to convey— there was no feeling that Rose had ended there in the dust.  Some hint of her was connected to it, yes, but the Time Lord's many heightened senses didn't detect Rose's timeline ending in the coarse pile of ash.  If she had died there, the Doctor should have detected a powerful resonation of her potentials coming to completion — but he didn't.  The Doctor conveyed all this to Jack, who immediately grasped the longed-for possibility: Rose was somehow still alive — even though they'd seen her killed before their eyes.  

"I wanted you to know," the Doctor said. "You love her, in your way," he added.

Jack gave a mental shake of the head.  "And you in yours, Doctor," he responded, not as calmly as he might have preferred.

The mental link shook, as though buffeted by the Doctor's emotions.  "There's so much I didn't dare risk — but now ..."

"Maybe it's not too late," Jack mentally urged.  Jack was all about making the most of the moment — it was always his first impulse.  Human lives were short and fraught with danger.  Just look at Rose — one minute, young, beautiful and alive — the next, a pile of dust.  You couldn't just wait around for life to seize you — you had to seize life and make the most of it while you still had the chance.

"I love you too, Doctor —" Jack thought urgently, "— for a given definition of love," he qualified.  

"Oh, Jack, lad," the Doctor thought back. "Your definition of love is fine by me.  I've rarely met a man so eager to give, so willing to accept with grace whatever was offered.  I love you too, you know.  I hoped you knew that by now."

Jack frowned a little, trying to keep his face blank as he pretended to massage the Doctor's temples.

"You keep your cards too close to your chest, Doctor," Jack thought.  "Anyone plainly can see how much you love Rose, but you haven't been willing to act on it for whatever reason.  I don't stand a chance against a love like that."

"It doesn't have to be an either/or situation, Jack," the Doctor responded.  "I can love whomever I please— for a given definition of love," he added — using Jack's own qualification.  

"I don't know how to take that — stuck here in jail, and all," Jack retorted.

"Jack, Jack, you know we can take those guards in three punches," the Doctor admonished, and in a projection, he flashed to Jack the moves that would quickly and efficiently incapacitate their jailers.  

"I'm ready when you are," Jack agreed, savoring the projection of himself flooring one of the brutes.

Jack felt a feeling of warmth sweep through him, radiating out from his fingers and enveloping his whole body.  

"Good lad," the Doctor thought, and the warm feeling felt like an approving stroke from head to toe.  Jack had never felt anything quite like it — and he wanted more.  He shivered a little, while still trying to maintain the ruse that he was helping the Doctor with a headache.  It was a little difficult to judge how much time had passed, but his Time Agent training reassured him that their conversation so far had only taken a few moments.  

"Doc, I'm not sure if you meant it to, but that felt like sex," Jack sent, a little bit deliriously.  Sure, they were stuck in a jail cell, only inches from another person — but hey, Jack was a man of few hangups.

Another surge of warmth passed through him, this time leaving him hot, slightly breathless, and thoroughly aroused.  Jack opened his eyes, to see the Doctor's lip turned up ever so slightly in a pleased smirk.  

"You dog," Jack thought, "you do mean it like that!"

"We're in your head, Jack, it can feel like whatever you want," the Doctor thought, and the stroking feeling eased back just a bit, making Jack feel good, but not too good.  

"I want," Jack thought, and sent several naughty images to the Doctor, clearly as he could.

Jack felt something like a pleased rumble coming back from the Doctor, and when he risked a look, the intense blue eyes were hungry and dangerous, almost feral.  Jack saw what he was letting in himself in for, and he liked it.

"Have you ever had psychic interpenetration, Jack?" the Doctor thought, silkily.

"I don't know what that is," Jack urged, "but I'm into it."

It was the right answer.  The Doctor's presence in Jack's mind grew somehow heavier, more intimate.  "I  wanted you, but I didn't dare. Now—"

They both knew the dreadful meaning behind now, and looked away from it.  

"Jack, I think you should know what's coming. I think it'll help somehow," the Doctor suggested.

"Knock my socks off, Doc," Jack replied.

"Okay," the Doctor thought.  "It's something called BAD WOLF — and it's something to do with Rose."

A golden light, bright as suns, but elusive, rippling down like beams into deep clear water.  A song, melancholy and ethereal, wise and made of pure love, drifting through his mind, so that Jack wanted to soar and wail.  A vibration as of some vast elemental power moving nearer, taking notice, flexing itself.  An intense, all-knowing regard, trained on the Doctor, on Rose, and on Jack, watching them, following them throughout all the universe, all across time— heeding no boundaries, attaching itself to them.

"Great heavens, Doctor — what is it?" Jack wondered, in awe.

"I don't know," he answered.  "But it loves you.  And that love is dangerous, Jack."

"Too dangerous to survive?" he laughed, in his head.

"I don't think you need to worry about surviving," the Doctor warned, suddenly serious.  "I'm... afraid for you, Jack," he admitted.

Jack felt the cold stone of worry solidifying in the Doctor's thoughts, and it terrified him. What could worry this man? What could frighten someone like unto a god himself?  
   
"Something outside the laws of Time is waiting for you, waiting to take you, and I can't do anything to stop it."

Jack felt something break inside him.  "Please, Doctor — don't let it take me!" he begged. "I want to stay with you — please!  I want it more than anything!"

Jack was a man of few needs and many wants.  But he wanted to stay with the Doctor and Rose like he wanted to keep on living.   The thought of leaving them, of going back to his old life, was terrifying. He didn't want to be that guy anymore.  He wanted to be the Doctor's Jack, Rose's Jack.  He wanted to keep the identity he'd pinned on for them, and let his old self crumple away like the discarded skin of a chrysalis.

"Jack, if this thing, BAD WOLF, comes for you — I can't stop it.  It's outside the laws of Time.  It's not something I can see or understand.  In fact, in the potentials where it touches you, it's like I'm blind, I can't see you at all," the Doctor admitted gravely.  

"Please, Doctor — see me!" Jack begged.  "Don't not see me! Please!"

The Doctor hesitated.  "All right, lad.  I told you I loved you, didn't I?"

"Yes," Jack responded, clinging desperately to that one hope.  

"Then I'll show you what love means to a Time Lord — if you want,"   the Doctor thought, a little reserved, but still, so warm.

"Anything, Doctor —anything!"

"All right," the Doctor thought, and almost like a sigh, Jack felt the Doctor moving, moving in closer, moving in closer, until Jack realized the mighty presence of the last of the Time Lords was swirling all around him, all around his consciousness, soothing the surface of his mind.  

"Is this okay?" the Doctor whispered, and it felt like the whole world was whispering, as though Jack were a vast primeval forest and the Doctor were an omniscient, omnipotent spirit threading his almighty fingers through the tops of the trees.  

"Glorious," Jack breathed, luxuriating in bliss under the Doctor's mental presence, trying to keep his wits about him, to maintain his outward appearance like a blind.

"I'll go deeper — but if I hurt you, even the tiniest bit, I'll draw back," the Doctor's enormous presence whispered, like the air flowing in and out of Jack's lungs, his very blood.

"I don't care," Jack thought, offering himself in perfect submission, and he felt a tremor in the world around him, as though the Doctor had drawn a shaky breath, as though the ancient alien found him beautiful.

The universe seemed to sigh, "Yes! .... beautiful, graceful Jack…how wonderful you are!"

Jack felt the Doctor's love sinking into him, deeper than bone.   "Deeper!" Jack begged.

"If I go any deeper, you'll be marked as my own, forever," the Doctor thought.  His words seemed to come pounding out of Jack's frantic heart.

"I want that, so much!" Jack swore.  

The Doctor sank down, down into the deepest essences of Jack's being — the spaces between the cells of his body — the bonds between the atoms that stormed in the universe of his material being.  He left his mark on who Jack was, moved inside of him, possessed him — and belonged to him.  

"You're mine, now, Jack," the Doctor thought, and it seemed to Jack as if the thought were his own.  "BAD WOLF can try and take you, but I'll always be with you, even to the end of time."

"I'm gonna hold you to that," Jack replied, drunk on the Doctor's power, roiling through his veins like the magma pulse inside the core of a planet.

"If you want it to feel more like sex, it can," the Doctor suggested, and abruptly, Jack was in two places at once.  

He was still in the holding cell, hands to the Doctor's temples — but he was lying on a silky soft blanket in a sea of red grass, two suns shining down through silvery leaves, and the Doctor was bending over him, pinning him with those eyes, and Jack lay back and just took it.  He took the Doctor's possessive kisses, making him swoon inside his own brain. He took the Doctor's long hand wrapped around his wrists while the Doctor stroked and pinched and bit until Jack was out of his mind.  He took the Doctor's mouth, suckling at his lips, his earlobes, his toes, his cock— till every part of his body seemed to cry out for the Doctor, and still the man just smiled like a predator and drove him higher.  

Finally it seemed Jack felt the long fingers stroking between his legs, up, and back, and slickly, hotly in, curving to press into him in that secret place so many had known, but it had never been this good before — and Jack knew it was a dream, a glorious dream, but he pulled his knees up and spread them wide, and took the Doctor's cool body in his arms, glad the man had let go of his hands so he could feel the strong, bony back covering him, feel the pounding of the two hearts as their chests pressed together — the Doctor's gaze burned into Jack and the powerful voice resonated all through him — "this is interpenetration, Jack — I'm in you, taking you into me, in you, in you" he chanted, in time with thrusts Jack knew weren't real, but nothing had ever felt so perfect, so crazily good, ever, ever in all his life — so as he sat on that bench, smiling just a little, Jack screamed and felt apart, and the Doctor held him as he shook and floated, and finally put him back together, after a few sweet lingering moments, a lifetime, a minute had passed.

Jack floated, lying back into the safety and love of the Doctor's embrace, feeling its sweetness all around him and through him.  He reached out for the Doctor, in his mind, wanting to touch him in return - and to his surprise, he felt himself flowing out of his own body, closer to the Doctor.  He'd never attempted such a thing before, never found anyone he could trust to cradle his precious psyche within their own.  

The Doctor's mind was grand, like a great sublime landscape, all mountains and ice, clouds and fire, stars and wind — and Jack shivered a little, but immediately he felt the Doctor's warmth containing him again.  

"I won't let you fall," the Doctor thought, and again, it was the world all around him, thundering with the Doctor's magnificent intent.

Jack wasn't looking for anything, he wasn't trying to cast a mark of ownership, he just wanted to soar though the grandeur of the Doctor's mind, showering the Doctor with his happiness, letting him know how much he was loved in return.

"Thank you, Jack," he heard, and it was his own ears hearing.  He opened his eyes.

His forehead was pressed against the Doctor's, and the two of them were lightly balanced against one another, breathing each other's breath.  Jack's hands fell at last from the Doctor's temples, but the sense of the Doctor inside his consciousness didn't fade.  

The Doctor opened his eyes, and now Jack could see whole worlds tumbling behind the Time Lord's gaze — and yet, inconceivable as it was, he loved Jack, and Jack loved him, and they were part of one another now, and nothing, not time or death or any mysterious force that broke the laws of nature, would ever be able to tear them apart.

"Thank you," Jack whispered back, and before he thought to stop himself, he turned his head and took the Doctor's mouth in the most delicate, delicious, heart-rending kiss he had ever experienced.  He worshipped the lips of the man — not knowing if they'd ever get the chance to be lovers in the flesh — he licked inside the Doctor's mouth, tasting the honeyed, slightly bitter reality of him, and stole his breath, and when the Doctor's need to dominate rose up, Jack gave himself over and let himself be ravished. Forget hostile surveillance, or Lynda right next to them on the bench  — let the whole world watch, Jack didn't care.  Together, they were going to knock down the guards and take the station by storm, and figure out what had happened to Rose, and somehow, whatever it took, they'd get her back.   And then the real fun would begin.

Jack gently pulled back, reveling in the Doctor's possessive grip.

"I don't want to let you go," the Doctor growled, soft and low.

"Don't," Jack said. "Don't ever."

One of the guards came in and made some pointless statement about prison sentences on the Moon.

"Let's do it," the Doctor said.  

And as quick as thought, Jack and the Doctor were free, and the BAD WOLF watched them, and smiled.    
  



End file.
